Other People's Problems

It is of interest to me that so many seem to think that other people's problems are so easily solved, wheareas theirs require time and patience.  I am, of course, among the many who so believe, at least unconsciously, and in many specific instances I will defend why your problem is solubable, but mine is intractable.  There is a certain human tendency toward solipsism, for a lack of empathy.  We can all be guilty of it at one time or another and in varying degrees, though only a few of us, I believe, totally lack the ability to understand another's point of view.  

While watching NOVA the other day, I learned something quite fascinating.  The subject was primate intelligence.  Apes have shown the ability to invent tools, cooperate, solve problems and even use language in a limited way, though without any concept of future or past or any ability to discuss unreality.  Like most animals, except- so far as we know - humans, primates are trapped in the present.  As Robert Burns said to the Mouse: The present only toucheth thee: But Och! I backward cast my e'e, On prospects drear! 45. An' forward, tho' I canna see, I guess an' fear!  

The researchers noted that there are two things that priates seem to truly lack: the ability to grasp that others have different minds and the interest in teaching.  These two are likely related.  Children under the age of four, for example, have a hard time conceptualizing that others have a separate "mind," and when confronted with a situation that requires them to judge what another person knows in relation to their own knowledge, they invariably assume that everyone thinks and knows what they know. It occurs to me that even as adults, we humans frequently do the very same thing.  We think that others' thoughts cannot possibly be different from ours because we're right, of course.  We know that people differ, but so much of our thought process is instinctual and subconscious that it becomes difficult to apply our own intelligence to what we do and say.  It seems that we act before (or in lieu of) thinking.  

The French have a term, l'esprit d'escalier, which roughly means stairway wit: being too late smart and too soon dumb.  The existence and popularity of this term at least comforts me into believing that I'm not the only one who speaks without thinking or forms opinions before understanding; and this despite knowing better.  

I believe that this leads us often to impose our own experience on others' problems.  In short, we seek to solve without understanding the problem.  We talk when we should listen.  We think that the difficulties others face, at least when they are different from ours, are so easily surmountable because that particular problem is no challenge for us.  Our own problems are very different; if only they could see how difficult our problems are, then they would see how easily solved their problems are.  

However, this all seems so clear once I am standing on the stairway.