Von Krankensein Heraus

Being sick is a very consuming phenomenon. I am suddenly confronted and overwhelmed with every aspect of my now very present physical presence. Every joint and bulge of flesh suddenly becomes accutely present in my conscious thought. I can feel the pads of my glasses resting precariously on the bridge of my nose. The weight of my shirt presses uncomfortably on my aching shoulders and the fuzzy lining of my argyle socks is digging into my papery skin. My sinuses, which normally are empty both of filling and feeling are suddently overwhelmingly there and my chapped lips, so often taken for granted remind me just how often I move them through the day. I have become not only conscious of my self physically, but self-conscious of my physicality and every flaw that is normally sublimated in my thoughts nows comes to the fore quite abruptly and without warning.

Lost in sickness, I find it difficult to imagine being well. Though I have only been sick for a few days, my perception of time has slowed. Now I feel every tick, tick, tick of the clock. It almost seems like I cannot truly imagine being not sick again. The thought of healthily running down the street and breathing deeply is alien to my senses. I know, however, for a fact, that I do know what it likes to be think, but in my current state, the overwhelming sensory input clouds my imagine. This makes me question whether I can ever truly imagine another state. If I now find it difficult to imagine a state I have directly experienced, how can I then claim to know what it feels like to be any other person. How can I then ever truly feel empathy. A frightening thought. Perhaps the illness is clouding my thoughts.